Thursday, March 29, 2007
You've Got Snail
Each time it rains, someone lifts my mailbox lid. The contents get soaked. Nothing like peeling the bills apart and laying them out to dry.
Yesterday I sorted though my letters and magazines and grabbed a snail. The creature had slimed up the joint and took a dump in the corner. Slob. What was he doing in there? There's no way he could have crawled in by himself. The mailbox is up on a dry wall, far from shade, dampness or vegetation that snails need.
This was sabotage.
What kind of person puts snails in people's mail? I can understand rotten eggs, lit cigarettes and death threats, but snails...?
Part of it my dinner was fresh broccoli. The snail ruined it. I kept envisioning him hauling his slimy caboose over each floret. Broccoli grew out in the open, right? Certainly something gross had oozed over it between the time it sprouted and the time it was picked.