Thursday, March 29, 2007

You've Got Snail


Each time it rains, someone lifts my mailbox lid. The contents get soaked. Nothing like peeling the bills apart and laying them out to dry.
Yesterday I sorted though my letters and magazines and grabbed a snail. The creature had slimed up the joint and took a dump in the corner. Slob. What was he doing in there? There's no way he could have crawled in by himself. The mailbox is up on a dry wall, far from shade, dampness or vegetation that snails need.
This was sabotage.
Stupid sabotage.
What kind of person puts snails in people's mail? I can understand rotten eggs, lit cigarettes and death threats, but snails...?
Part of it my dinner was fresh broccoli. The snail ruined it. I kept envisioning him hauling his slimy caboose over each floret. Broccoli grew out in the open, right? Certainly something gross had oozed over it between the time it sprouted and the time it was picked.

Thanks, snail.
Thanks, saboteur.

4 comments:

GhostBuild said...

Yuck!

I can't think of a single way to spin this positive. Not even as a learning experience.

hmm... could be worse, no? I've had to endure sudden wasp ambushes in my mailbox. Wow, I can tell you with authority that it SUCKED. =D

Namowal said...

The only positive side to the story is the snail survived. I set him free instead of chucking him into the street like a bad penny.
You had WASPS invade your mailbox? That's scary. What happened? That sounds like a blog entry of its own. Ever thought of starting your own blog?

GhostBuild said...

Yeah. The mailbox was made of wood, and the little bastards started a nest on a weekend without our knowing. Monday, come time to check the mail, open the door, AMBUSH!

I've thought quite a bit on the idea of starting a blog, but it seems that I just wouldn't have enough content that I'd want to share.

I like the way you handle your blog here because you have the illustrations to go with the stuff you talk about. That format would be ideal for me were I to ever give it a shot.

GhostBuild said...

oh, one other thing. Very kind of you to let the snail free. Truthfully it doesn't know any better. You're a better person than I.

I probably woulda squished him out of frustration.