Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Tail o' the Paint Job

I like tackiness. Buildings shaped like things, 1950s coffee shops with wacky angles, signage that violates city ordinances, people who fill their front yards with krazy krap and the like. But sometimes you have to draw the line.
Take a stand for what's really important.
My complaint?

What kind of twisted fiend paints his house these colors!?
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Is there no decency left in this world? Does he realize this resides on a busy corner where men, woman and innocent children will see this clashtastrophy? I was ready to scoop my eyes with a mellon baller.
Where are the local authorities with the brown paint to sheild our eyes from such horrors?
How were these colors picked? Darts? Did someone really go to Home Depot and say "Hmmm.... Hefty Bag Green? Electric Mustard Yellow? Sweet."
Maybe this has something to do with Halloween. He probably wants to scare off the trick-or-treaters.

p.s. If you're considering hiring me and happen to live here (just my luck), may I say what a lovely house you have, a color scheme evoking the fresh contrast of fruit and leaf of the lemon tree. Just kidding about the mellon baller.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Tail o' the Rubbernecker

I hate it when I'm stuck in traffic because everyone stops to look at whatever's blocked the traffic in the first place. Not that I don't look when it's my turn. I figure, hey, I've been in line for a long time here, there better be something to see.
Today it happened again. I waited and waited. A flashing firetruck loomed ahead, but I didn't see smoke or flames. When I got up to the firetruck, I saw men in yellow suits, but no wrecked cars, no smoke, no fires, not even a blown hydrant.
I took an extra second to scope the area. Then I smelled it. They were tending a gas leak. Since I just had to slow down and look, my heater had time to suck up enough of it to stink up my car. Whoops.
I drove away, hoping my car wouldn't explode.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Ghost of the Pink Lady

Malibu canyon is haunted. In 1966 a woman was rubbed out at an early age. Her ghost is still there.
Here's what happened. Grafitii covered the rocks over a tunnel on Malibu Canyon Road. A local artist thought it was ugly. She cleaned it up and painted a 60 foot high woman. Local authorities weren't impressed (probably something to do with the subject being nude). Within days she was blotted out with brown paint. Local authorities are no fun.

Here's what she looked like in her glory days:
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She's considered long gone, but you can still see her "ghost" if you know where to look.
Perhaps it's traces of the original paint, but what kind of paint lasts 40 years? More likely, the paint they covered her with has protected that section of rock long enough for it to erode at a different pace.
Here is a contemporary photo, scaled in photoshop to line up with the cracks in the rocks.
She seems to be wearing the shrowd of paint they covered her with. Can you find her?
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How about now?
Here's the rock part of the original photo superimposed over the modern one.