Maybe I pushed my luck a year ago when I wished for such things like peace on earth. Serves me right to wish for a cliché. My wish for success (and, might I add, my efforts) went nowhere. Boo hoo hoo. This year, I'll wish for more plausible, realistic things:
- Great Britain* needs to be hooked up to a tug boat and hauled over to offshore California for my convenience. I like England (and Scotland, and Wales), but it's so damn far. I want it to be a 20 minute ferry trip. I don't think the residents would mind. Less rain. Further away from France too. Ireland can be shipped over too for a trial run- I've never been there. If I like it, it can stay. If not, back it goes.
- I don't see why I have to go all the way over to Switzerland to see the Matterhorn. Chop it up, ship it to Los Angeles, and reassemble it on top of the Santa Monica Mountains. And put a tram or funicular so I can get to the top of it without having to climb it.
- If we can move the Matterhorn to Los Angeles, we can move the Sphinx and Gaza pyramids to California too. Put them in the San Fernando Valley to liven things up
- Angkor Watt, the Taj Mahal, Palace Alhambra, and the Neuschwanstein Castle need to be shipped my way too. I demand outright ownership or, at the very least, a rent controlled lease.
- The grand canyon needs to be closer to Los Angeles for my convenience too, but I haven't figured out how to move it yet.
*By "Great Britain" I'm referring to the island. I'd move the whole U.K. over but I'd have to saw off part of Northern Ireland too and that's too complicated