Tuesday, April 26, 2011

"And So Will All the Human Race..."

I was listening to an English version of the Threepenny Opera when I drew this.  The music's catchy, and the lyrics  (originally written by Bertolt  Brecht and translated by  R. Mannheim and J. Willett*) are biting.
Take these samples from the end of the first act:
But say your son is close to you
And finds your pension’s not come through
He’ll kick you smartly in the face.
And so will all the human race.


Of course that’s all there is to it
The world is poor, and man’s a $#!+
We should aim high instead of low
But our condition’s such this can’t be so.
Oh snap!

*bad word bleeped out by me, but I'm sure you can figure out what it is.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

"What's with this Anti-Bullying Nonsense?"

Guest Blogger:   Harman Throttlefolk

It happened last Friday.   At the George Washington Middle School cafetorium.  As I plunged my fork into my chili cheese fries,  I saw him.   Ned Smith, dorktard extraordinaire.  There he was, with his thick glasses, pimply skin, skinny neck,  carrying his stupid cafeteria tray and looking all stupid.  Something about him screamed   Beat me!  Beat the crap out of me!
Some instincts you don't ignore.
So I swagger up to him, call him a #@Iing @&$!! and knock the tray out of his hands.  Chili, green beans jello and plastic hit the floor.  Then I shove Ned down into it and pour my Pepsi on his head.  Everyone's watching now.  Some cheer!  It's like the gladiator games and I'm victorious.  Ned hobbles to his feet as soda drips from him. He won't even look me in the eye, and he's scraping the food off his shirt and I go "Next time watch where you're going, you !@#(!"  Everyone laughs.
Then Fat-Ass Monitor Lady sends me to the principals office.  Now I have to have lunch in the stupid office for the next too weeks because "bullying will not be tolerated.*"
What's with all this anti-bullying nonsense?  Why should I accept some runtiod geek as my peer?  How come he's tolerated and I'm not?  I don't get why we're supposed to embrace the dorktard lifestyle.   It's well known that wimpy, nerdy kids are more lonely and prone to depression.  I'm doing the him a favor by encouraging him to lose his wussyness.     And my reward?  I get into trouble!  It's hypocrisy I tell you.   If this keeps up, America will be crawling with weirdos.  And people like me, who stand up for what's right, will be locked up. 

*Well, there is a threshold of bullying that they tolerate just fine.  I was singled out because my victory left too much evidence.  Some bullies work around the system by being more subtle, or doing $#!+ like wedgies and swirlies that the geekbastard won't report because he's too ashamed that his dorkatude lead him to that fate.  But if us bullies compromise, what next?  Will we then lose our rights to more subtle putdownmanship?  Will we be prohibited from whispering "#@&&*+!" and "#^(&head" when a spazoid walks by?  Will the proud tradition of  "After school I'm gonna pound you!" fade into history?

Monday, April 11, 2011


I found a cool website called Illustration Friday.
Each week it introduces a new theme and invites artists to submit their interpretations.
The theme for this week is "Bottled."

Friday, April 08, 2011

"Road Rage is Righeous"

Guest blogger: Rex Honkscreech
Everyone gives me crap about my driving.  Like if some jerk cuts me off, they think I'm not supposed to cut him off.  Are you freaking kidding me!?  What kind of message am I sending if I don't cut the bastard off?.  It's like saying "That's okay, go ahead cut me off.  I won't retaliate.  Why don't you cut me off again?"  I tell ya, it's like they want me to go all World War II French or something. Sorry.  This one man army rolls over for nobody.  Cut me off, and it's for damn sure I'll cut you off!
People say I'm nuts when I drive off course to follow some jerk and give him the finger.  They're all "What's wrong with you?  Why are you so childish?"
Well, let me introduce you to something called "principles."    You can't let people get away with stuff.  You got stand up for yourself.  When someone makes me mad on the road, he's earned my angry glare and special bird flip.
 Then my wuss friends give me the "but that's dangerous!" speech.  It's a shame how people let fear push them into Wimpyland.  Thank goodness our founding fathers weren't afraid of a little danger.  George Washington and all the other guys didn't go "Oh, we can't get England mad at us!  We might hurt their feelings!  There might be shots fired"
Too bad they didn't live long enough to enjoy driving.  Can't you just see Thomas Jefferson side swiping some idiot who didn't get out of his way?  Or John Adams running some dope off the road?   I bet Benjamin Franklin himself  would invent a special horn that went "F@$% you!".  And he wouldn't be afraid to use it!