Guest blogger: Rex Honkscreech
Everyone gives me crap about my driving. Like if some jerk cuts me off, they think I'm not supposed to cut him off. Are you freaking kidding me!? What kind of message am I sending if I don't cut the bastard off?. It's like saying "That's okay, go ahead cut me off. I won't retaliate. Why don't you cut me off again?" I tell ya, it's like they want me to go all World War II French or something. Sorry. This one man army rolls over for nobody. Cut me off, and it's for damn sure I'll cut you off!
People say I'm nuts when I drive off course to follow some jerk and give him the finger. They're all "What's wrong with you? Why are you so childish?"
Well, let me introduce you to something called "principles." You can't let people get away with stuff. You got stand up for yourself. When someone makes me mad on the road, he's earned my angry glare and special bird flip.
Then my wuss friends give me the "but that's dangerous!" speech. It's a shame how people let fear push them into Wimpyland. Thank goodness our founding fathers weren't afraid of a little danger. George Washington and all the other guys didn't go "Oh, we can't get England mad at us! We might hurt their feelings! There might be shots fired"
Too bad they didn't live long enough to enjoy driving. Can't you just see Thomas Jefferson side swiping some idiot who didn't get out of his way? Or John Adams running some dope off the road? I bet Benjamin Franklin himself would invent a special horn that went "F@$% you!". And he wouldn't be afraid to use it!