Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Drop Dead Cute

Cute people annoy me. By "cute" I mean anyone who gets away with horrifying crap because they're adorable.
This starts out in school. There was always at least one kid who suckered the teacher into thinking thet were bright when, in fact, they were just cute. He or she was rarely punished for bad behavior or poor work. The teach gave the bastard a pass because how could such a darling creature really be dumb or naughty?
The rest of us toads had to hustle to do well in school and stay out of trouble. The cute people glide through school and then life, giggling and mooching off people who can't get enough of them.
Cute offenses include:
  • Getting out of work by pretending to be too dumb to know how to do it (and acting impressed with the skills of the sucker that does it for them.)
  • Rationalizing atrocious deeds as innocent mistakes or worse, examples of how funny-crazy-cute they are.
  • Saying "cute" things that, if said by anyone else, would label them a jackass.
  • Baby talk.
  • Prima Donna histrionics that would get us mere mortals shunned, arrested or institutionalized
  • Suddenly being your best buddy when they need money
  • Gossip
  • Murder
You think I'm kidding about murder? Ted Bundy played it cute all the way to the electric chair. His friends (and up to a point, his victims) thought he was the nicest guy ever. So funny, so charming. Meanwhile he's on a murder spree that would freak out Jack the Ripper. Mr Cute sometimes kept their severed heads as trophies.
Okay, I suppose your typical cute person isn't killing people. They're smarter than that. Why kill someone when it's so much easier to fleece them? A dead guy won't help you move, get you a job, give you a place to stay, or lend you fifty bucks.

Note- Yeah, yeah, I know it's considered uncool to use the Comic Sans typeface in the speech balloons. This says "I'm an amateur , I'm not very original, and I'm too ignorant to realize what a lackluster typeface this is." Then again, I'm not getting paid for this and few people read it. I'm considering getting buying custom typeface software to look a bit more savvy. Then again, when you put a designer sweater on a dog, it's still a dog.


GhostBuild said...

Right there with you. I want to say that karma doesn't forget, but sometimes you wonder.

GhostBuild said...

Somebody gave you grief over the Comic typeface? Unreal.

Anonymous said...

lol it sounds like you must be fat & ugly. obviously you have had to grow up with this complex following you around. sorry for you. however, im cute, i know it,& i played it. so what? i know i am fortunate and its tough being adorable. and no, lol, i am not an ax murderer.
so my advice, shave the unibrow, wax ur stache, lose 50 lbs. do something that will make you feel good and/or maybe even make you look good!