Friday, May 11, 2007
The plan was to spend my vacation sipping tea and watching finches and jays.
I bought bird feeder. Online. It came equipped with a squirrel deterrent that zapped them with a mild shock. Except the shocker didn't work. I switched batteries, reread the instructions, tinkered and swore. No shock.
I called customer service. That, like the feeder, didn't work.
For clarity I'll rewrite the conversation as if the item in question was a blender.
Namowal: The SuperBlend2000 isn't working. I flip the switch and the blades don't move
Next Available Service Representative: Did you plug it in?
Next Available Service Representative: Did you turn it on?
Next Available Service Representative: Did you charge the battery for twelve hours? Did you extend the antenna?
Namowal: It doesn't come with a battery charger or an antenna.
Next Available Service Representative: Did you chop a cup of strawberries in it?
Namowal: Of course not. The blades don't move. The moter doesn't run.
Next Available Service Representative: Try chopping up a cup of strawberries.
Namowal: That won't work. The blades don't move.
Next Available Service Representative: Maybe it looks like they don't move but if you threw some strawberries in there they'd blend up into a smoothie...
Why I didn't get snippy with her (or start screaming) I'll never know.
I do know that I have an expensive appliance that doesn't work from a company that insults my intelligence when I complain.
The new plan is to spend my vacation sipping tea and watching squirrels