Tuesday, September 07, 2010
The Sun: Why Do I Even Bother to Shine?
I was so eager in the beginning. I knew developing and maintaining a solar system would take dedication and work, but I was under the delusion that it might, maybe PAY OFF SOME DAY...
I'd considered my planet collection a work in progress. I pulled the most interesting planets I could find into my orbit. I kept the moons spinning. Installed an asteroid belt. Threw in some comets. Hung rings on Saturn (still making payments on these). I thought, this may not be the best planet system, but someday it'll be one of the greats.
Now, after 4 billion years of being snubbed as a location for intergalactic conventions, absent in "Planetary System of the Week" mentions, and not even a stub on the MilkyWaykipeda, it's become clear.
My planetary system is crap and I have no business running it.
No double stars. No pulsars. Most of my planets are lifeless, and the one holdout is crawling with the most disgusting things you ever saw.
The final straw came when I took the "How will YOU end up" quiz on Facebook. I'd always figured I'd be fusing iron some day. And then I'd go supernova. Then everyone would point to me and say how awesome I was. Nope. According to the results I'll eventually fall apart and become a "planetary nebula" which is the politically correct way to say "space booger". Left over at the core will be a "degenerate dwarf". That's like a tatertot that glows in the dark.
Boy, I'm glad I've worked billions of years for this!