Monday, April 26, 2010

Guest Blogger: Chipper the House Finch

The trouble started at the bird feeder.  These two squirrels were hogging it and saying it was a mammal feeder, and that any bird who got too close would be sorry.  This went on all day.
I got mad and said "Why are two mammals bossing around all forty birds in our flock?  Let's descend on the feeder like a school of fish.  They can't keep us away from the feeder!"
So  we swarmed in and the squirrels ran away.  Problem solved I thought.
Then a bunch of Mockingbirds started dive bombing a baby squirrel.  I said to leave him alone because he'd never bothered us.  They said "He's a mammal!  Cats, dogs, squirrels, they're all rotten!  Bird killers all!"
Then they started pecking his head!  I got in between them and they started pecking me and calling me "Traitor" and "Mammel lover."
Then the baby squirrel's mother shows up and says I should be ashamed of myself for starting a riot.  I said I didn't want a riot.  A big crowd of birds started jeering and pecking me.  "Hypocrite!" they said.  "Coward!  You let a baby mammal scare you away!  You can't be in our flock!"
So now I don't have a flock and no animal will speak to me.


stray said...

Love this drawing.

Linda said...

This is so unfair.

Namowal said...

Thanks, stray, Linda.
The story is loosely based on real events (having nothing to do with me) where someone harmless, like Chipper, got vicious grief from a variety of sources. Each camp of "griefers" didn't seem to understand what was really going on, and were attacking an "enemy" that wasn't one in the first place.
It made me very angry (and I'm pretty easygoing).