Saturday, June 12, 2010

"I Take the Stairs!"

When I learned my new office was on the sixth floor I thought I'll take the stairs!  I'll get a workout!  I'll get in shape!
Then I learned that "getting into shape" involved discovering how out of shape you were.
Some people sprang up the flights like gazelles.  Not me.
The first flight or two weren't bad, but by the sixth floor I'd be staggering and gasping like I'd been mustard gassed.   Hopefully I'll get better at this.
My shame at being such a wimp was tempered with pride.
No elevator for me I thought.  I take the stairs!
Soon I caught my self wedging this boast into every conversation.
"Beautiful weather, today" someone says.
"Yes," I'd say.  "I saw the view in the stairwell windows on the way to the top!"
"There's donuts in room 1313!" someone says.
"Oh boy!" I say.  "I think I'm entitled to one, since I make myself take the stairs each time."
"A meteor the size of a bus struck my office!  Help!" someone texts.
"Hope there's a good fire escape.  If I a meteor the size of a bus hits my building I'll have a chance 'cause I know where the emergency exit is, being that I take the stairs every day."
Okay, I made up the last one.
Say, did I tell you I took the stairs today?

13 comments:

Pile Girl said...

When my mom was in the hospital, she was on the fourth floor. I decided to take the stairs when I visited. And I carried my laptop, which seemed to gain weight along with the elevation. Along with my purse, it was like climbing Everest with heavy luggage.
By the third day, I used the elevator at least half the time.

Linda said...

I'm laughing at the subtle ways you wedge your boast into every single conversation.

Funnnny illo, too.

Namowal said...

Hi Pile Girl,
I agree that laptops, purses, and book bags make the trip much worse.
There should be dumbwaiters provided for that kind of stuff! :)

Hi Linda,
I almost didn't include the boasting part, as it made me sound like a jerk, but I figured it was part of the story.
I hate it when I catch myself wedging "this fact makes me interesting" tidbits a conversation. Sadly, there seems to be a 48 hour delay between what I say and the maybe you shouldn't have said that realization.

Linda said...

Oh, no, it doesn't make you sound like a jerk at all; it's hilarious!

Namowal said...

Thanks Linda,
It drives me crazy when other people repeatedly point out unique facts about themselves:
"I don't have a television" or "I met [insert celebrity here]" or "I can't eat onions or garlic but leeks are okay" etc...
...yet I catch myself doing the same thing.

p.s. Did I tell you I take the stairs every day? ;)

stray said...

Funny!

booda baby said...

This is so funny. I can't believe EVERYone doesn't recognize that 'me, me, let me tell you about MY martyrdom.'

Okay. Maybe it's just me. I think you've GOT to squeeze it in because it's SO unlikely that anyone will be courteous enough to ask. Jeesh. What is wrong with them?

Namowal said...

Stray,
Thanks!

Boodababy,
Speaking of "My martydom tops yours,"
remember this sketch?

stray said...

I know someone who says, if I complain about 15-degree weather: "I'm still walking an hour before dawn, but I guess that's a good thing."

Namowal said...

Funny stuff, stray.

Say, did I tell you I take the stairs before dawn? Because 6:30 pm, on the way down to the parking lot at the end of a day is technically before dawn, right?

Pile Girl said...

I am personally guilty about telling everybody about how I take care of my mom 24/7. Thanks for helping me see how silly I'm being.

Namowal said...

Hi Pile Girl,
If I took care of my mom 24/7 I'd be mentioning it too. Sounds like tough work.

Linda said...

Pile Girl, that is not silly. That is the hardest work there is. I feel for you. I couldn't do it for my mom and I admire you.