Sunday, September 27, 2009

Chronic Honkers


Ever ride with someone who hits the horn more than they hit the foot pedals?
Chrissie is a chronic honker. Woe to the cad in front of her who doesn't accelerate the millisecond the light turns green! Woe to the scoundrel who dares to pass in front of her!
The honk of wrath shall fall on their ears!
I'm not sure how to classify it. Paranoid? Childish?
Once a car in front of her stopped to drop someone off. There was nowhere to pull over so they had to stop in the street, slowing down Chrissie for several seconds.
She leaned into the horn like she was deploying a weapon.
"C'mon," I said. "They're dropping a guy off. It's not like traffic's backing up-"
"They're blocking my way!" she huffed, hitting the horn a few extra times. I was mortified.
Even those who don't block her way may still risk her honk. Once she gave a sound honking to some chump who turned into the wrong lane. I didn't think it was that big of a deal since
  1. It was very early and there was no other traffic.
  2. He was in the opposite lane and in no danger to us.
"Why'd you honk at him?" I said.
"He's not supposed to do that!" she said.

I avoid getting in Chrissie's car at all costs.

8 comments:

karenladeeda said...

She scares me!

stray said...

It always terrifies me when I'm driving and someone anywhere honks a horn--the noise seems more likely to cause an accident, I'd say.

Namowal said...

Karenladeeda,
Chrissie reminds me a bit of an old Goofy cartoon where he plays a mild mannered fellow who turns into a ill-mannered Mr. Hyde when he's behind the wheel.

Hi Stray,
I hate those mystery honks too. My first instinct is Ohmygosh! Am I about to hit something? Worst of all are the nuts who install freight train strength air horns to their car. They probably scare people in the next town over.

Linda said...

Chrissie needs a sedative.

RHSteeleOH said...

I've actually had people reach over and honk the horn while I'm driving. It's an obsession.

Namowal said...

Hi Linda,
I bet a sedative would cause her to slump over her horn and sleep through the perma-honk.

Hi RHSteeleOH,
People reach over and honk your horn? That's obnoxious beyond the pale!

Too bad they can't scan the brains of Chronic Honkers. I'm wondering what parts are active. Something tells me it isn't some of our more highly evolved areas...

Sally said...

Hide her keys. Send her to clown school.

Namowal said...

Hi Sally,
She'd probably like driving the little clown car, as long as she could work the horn! :)