Friday, January 19, 2007

Lobster Causes

Poor supermarket lobsters. All the other animals have gone to the happy hunting ground, their remains stylishly displayed amidst lemon wedges and fake garnish.
Not the lobster. He's stuck in a dingy tank. No plants. No castle. No plastic clamshell clapping out bubbles... Not even colored foil on the back.
Then there's those pincer bands. Do they give the lobster carpel tunnel? Maybe if you're scheduled to be boiled alive, numb body parts aren't a bad idea.
Those things look like activist bracelets. What cause would a lobster champion? The top concerns of the crustacean community?
I have a hunch it's something like this:

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