Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Interview with my Subconscious Mind.

ME: So, tell me about yourself.  What makes you tick?

SUBCONSCIOUS: Want Hostess Ding Dong!

ME:  Sorry, but you're not getting one-

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Ding Dong gots chocolate and white filling.  Yum!  Ding Dongs!

ME: Yes, but this isn't about Ding Dongs.  It's about you.  Tell me about-


ME: You can keep saying that, but you're not getting a Ding Dong.  Got it?

(someone walks by)

SUBCONSCIOUS:  That ugly person!

ME: That's not very nice...!  Shame on you!

SUBCONSCIOUS: No like  ugly person!

ME: You haven't even met them.  Why are you so judgement-

(car backfires nearby)

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Danger!  Danger!  Danger!  Danger!

ME: Calm down!

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Danger! Must fight!  Must run away!

ME: It's someone's car, you dolt!  It's harmless.

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Maybe not danger?

ME: Of course not!


ME: Yes, you're safe.

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Me safe now.  Want Ding Dong.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Crack PaRody!

Some smartass has made an "enhanced" version.  Don't tell me you weren't laughing by the 19 second mark.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Come visit the Cracks...!

Anyone familiar with my older posts know the story well:
In the mid 1970s an odd Sesame Street cartoon appeared.   It involved a girl and cracks on her wall that morphed into animals.  I remember being intrigued.  That would be cool if I wall cracks could turn into things and play with you!
Then came the climax : a jagged  crack face shows up,  growls, and falls apart in chunks!
It frightened me so badly that I ran from the  room when it came on. I feared the "Crack Monster" for years.  I was sure he'd appear on my wall at night.  Even normal cracks made me nervous.  
I figured it was one of those "silly things that scared me as a kid."  Yet when I blogged about it I got tons of feedback from fellow GenX kids who had the same reaction:

Some comments I've collected about it over the years:

"...not nearly as scary as the cartoon with the talking crack in the wall. That still haunts me." -Ann Arbor, Michigan

I am amazed to know there are so many other people that were scared by this. I thought I might be the only one...  .... Scared the crap out of me as a child. "

 "... that **** cartoon with the crack in the wall that came to life (btw, i *REALLY* want to see that so if anyone has it, please let me know!)"-Illinois

"- I have NEVER forgotten is the 'crack' video... ...I remember both anticipating and dreading the possibility of watching it every time SS came on. if anybody [finds it], POST POST POST!!!"

"Good God, I have periodically searched for "crack, camel, master crack" for years .... ...This has to exist somewhere. God, I can't imagine how normal I might have been if I hadn't been exposed to [it] as a 3 year old?"
"This is so strange. I thought I was alone in how this one little cartoon freaked me out and has stayed with me ever since... ...Anyway, if anyone does find it, please please share with the rest of us so we can finally close this chapter"

" I was Googling around and found your reference to the Sesame Street "crack" cartoon, and I was wondering if you have ever found it? I am SO very relieved to see that it either really existed, or we all have some kind of mass psychosis! Seriously, I have been looking for this clip forever, because it scared me so much as a kid and I need closure! :)"
"...a child looking up at the cracks in the ceiling and spotting various animals. Suddenly... a horrible face appears in the wall and says something like 'I am Crack Master!' - But just then the wall plaster crumbled to the floor... 'He'd destroyed himself, being mean.' Yeeergh, that still gives me the shivers."

"Oh my God! My brother and I have been trying to find a clip of the Cracks forever! I remember it as "the cracks overhead" It scared the crap out of us. I would LOVE to find it somewhere."
"When I was a kid, there was an animated skit that used to have me screaming and running from the TV... ... It was about this girl sitting in her room on a rainy day. She has a whole bunch of cracks on the walls in her room (I guess she had plaster walls). As she's sitting there, her imagination starts to go wild, and she sees the cracks form into different shapes, mostly animal shapes, and they start to come to life. There's a camel, and a monkey...
...and behind it is a horrible looking splinter crack monster in the plaster with a really scary face! ...It claims that it is the crack master... ...I remember when the skit started, I was like "Oh no!" And started to scream and then when the face appeared I became hysterical! I had horrible re-occurring nightmares based on it for the entire time it was on the show. I've been trying to find it ..."

As famous Sesame Street shorts began to appear on YouTube, we anticipated seeing our nemesis again.  Yet it never showed.  
Then things got weird.  Jon, an internet acquaintance claimed to have a copy.  He'd gotten it from an mysterious source that allegedly made him sign paperwork that he wouldn't put it online or duplicate it.
A few months later, I met up Jon, half expecting to be pranked.  He did have a copy,  I watched it again for the first time in almost 40 years.
But mysteries remained.  Why was it kept under wraps?  Why did Jon get singled out as a the person who got a copy?  More importantly, who made it?  Who were the artists and musicians behind it?  Why has nobody come forward, especially now that it has a cult status?  

Then, on December 24th, I got a note: it was on YouTube.  An anonymous email to The Lost Media Wiki contained the clip.   I believe it's from a different source than Jon's source- as the latter seemed to be pulled from a Sesame Street episode (A few seconds of Ernie preceded it) and the former started with a title card.  Crack Master has been freed!

Note: One thing I just noticed- I'd always interpreted the character to have black pupils (as if he's looking away from the others).  As he ratchets up his scariness, they grow into spooky socket-like holes.  However, on closer inspection- I think he was supposed to be interpreted as having dark eyes with white pupils.  This makes more sense (why would he be looking the other way) and makes him look less grotesque.  At least he's making eye contact and not staring away, zombie style.
When you look at him, which way do you read his eyes?

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Storybook Practice Drawings

My assignment was to draw/sketch five different characters.  I'm not really proud of any of  these, but I had a choice.  Draw what came to mind or sit around waiting for something brilliant (a.k.a. not drawing at all).   Perhaps a detail from one of these will push me in the direction to something better.
Bee Alligator:
What's good:  I like the flowers.
What's bad:  I don't like anything else.
Butterfly with Mangled Wings:
What's good:  I like his expression.
What's bad:  Too depressing for a children's book.
Cat and Dog:
What's good:  I like their personalities- you can tell they're up to something.
What's bad:  Cat and dog?  Like that hasn't been done a zillion times before...  Also I don't like how the background is washed out.  I would have made it more colorful, but feared it would be distracting.  I wish there was a book called "How to make engaging cartoon backgrounds that don't 'fight' with what's in the foreground."
Dragon in Dungeon Nailed to the Wall.
What's good:  I like the frowny face window.  Also the character seems sympathetic.
What's bad:  Too warped and depressing for a children's book.
Weasel and Basilisk
What's good:  I "painted" them with a texture of a pear my friend posted on facebook.  I think it makes the sketch more interesting.
What's bad:  Background is too sparse!  I wanted to add more detail, but didn't know how to do so without  interfering with the foreground.  I also should have left out upper joint on Basilisk leg.  And why doesn't he have eyebrows?

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Cactus Clown

One of my friends loves cactuses but hates clowns.
I knew what I had to do.