Sunday, July 03, 2011

"This Acorn PROVES the Sky is Falling."

Guest Blogger: Chicken Little

The haters were quick to ridicule me.  "That's an acorn, stupid!" they said.  "The sky isn't falling!  It's not even a solid object!"
The major media and folktale outlets pilloried me.  The academic elites mocked me.  Turkey Lurkey called me a "Dumbass."
Yet Professor Grousey Lousy of Matchbook University bravely observed, "Well, technically I suppose one could argue that much what appears to us as 'sky' is, in fact, bluish light scattered from particles of nitrogen, oxygen and so on.  These particles are subject to the laws of gravity just like everything else, so, in a sense the sky is solid and falling."
So I've been proven right.  Yet the media and children's books remain silent.  Even the Foxy Loxy News Network won't touch my vindication.  Shocking!
So far Ducky Lucky is the only one who weighed in.  "I can reluctantly understand how the sky, in a sense, is falling," he sniffed, "but that doesn't match Chicken Little's notion that it was crashing down in dangerous chunks.  A freaking acorn landed on his head.  Did he turn around to investigate what hit him?  No.  He ran off screaming about the sky.  He's barmy."
Isn't it just like those know-it-all jerks to call me names?  They can't argue logically so they just attack me.  Cowards.
Yes, it's true that an acorn hit my head.  But do you know why?  Because a piece of falling sky knocked it loose!  Prove it didn't!  Prove it didn't!!


Linda Davick said...

"Professor Grousey Lousy of Matchbook University" ...
Namo, you're truly barmy.

p.s. said...

in a good way.

Namowal said...

I actually tinkered with several names before I picked Grousey Lousy-

Cootie Lootie
Gully Wully
Loony Goony
Pelicany Smelicany

GhostBuild said...

Nice illustration... that scowl is great!

So, is Chicken Little just paranoid, grumpy, but still believing his own claim... or is he an old-school version of what we now call a troll?

Namowal said...

Thanks, Ghostbuild.
I'd say Chicken Little is every blowhard who twists facts to suit his claims, no matter how crazy said claims are.