Maybe you should consider being a crab.
It doesn't matter if you work in the public sector...
Or the private...
You can be a crab anywhere!
Here are some tips to get you started.
Each day, concentrate on the following:
- How stupid everyone is.
- How rotten your life is, thanks to all the stupid people.
When someone asks you a question, respond with...
...the "I can't believe someone could be as dumb as you" look:
Follow quickly with...
...the "Your stupidity disgusts me" glare.
Remember, stay surly. Make sure everyone knows how difficult they're making your life!
Practice saying the following:
"No!"And never forget the all time classic:
"Move! You're in the way."
"What d'ya want?"
"Can I help you?" (Said in a "I know you're wasting my time" tone")
"You did it wrong."
"We're outta [insert commodity here] so don't ask for it!"
"What're you looking at?!"
Try to work in a put-upon "Your Welcome" before anyone thanks you.
And if someone ever says, "I hope it's not too much trouble," be sure to respond with an icy