Saturday, May 08, 2010

Mission Hot Link Smuggle

My Mom was in the hospital earlier this week (she's out now).   Her roommate  was  entertaining.  More engaging  than anything on daytime T.V.
Luci was awaiting  surgery or some sort of procedure.   Most of her time was spent on the phone.  She wanted food smuggled in.  I secretly transcribed her conversations:
"Pick up!  Pick up the phone!  I know you're there.  Y'all should be ashamed of yourself!
...Now bring me some food...   ...Hot Links and potato salad, and banana pudding...and bring me some socks!  My feet are freezing...  ...No! I don't wear those hospital booties.   Bring me socks...!
...Is that Penny?  Put that fatass on the line...!
If you don't bring me something to eat up here I'll tear up this hospital!
Who?  She's got no say in what I get to eat!  Tell that %!!# to shut up!  I'll tear her tail up right over the phone!"
In addition, someone brave enough to visit Luci in person was informed she was ready to "knock his #!@@ right out of the ^@!!! window" if she didn't get those Hot Links.
Mission Hot Link Smuggle was a success.  The last time I saw her she had a take out-container full of biscuits, potato salad, fries, and Hot Links. 

8 comments:

Linda said...

I love Luci and I want a double order of everything she wants.

(Hope your mom is doing better.)

Pile Girl said...

Love the story and your illustration.

Sally said...

So glad you told this story and wrote it down. So vivid and funny.

Namowal said...

Thanks Linda,
Luci was a kick.
Later that night I found out the fat really hit the fire- -herparole officer apparently stopped by her home and, not finding her there, searched it. But what really made her mad as the fact that some gossipy neighbor had let everyone know about it!
(Mom seems to be doing better.)

Hi Pile Girl,
Thanks for stopping by!

Hi Sally,
Maybe I should learn shorthand. Sometimes overheard conversations are great material.

Linda said...

You know, I think overheard conversations make the BEST material. There's something so alive about them.

stray said...

Funny roommate! Glad you got to have some laughter. Hope your mom is OK.

Namowal said...

Thanks, Stray!

booda baby said...

Really, wouldn't that be a great series to animate?! OH conversations? We could all give it a leeetle stab. Although, OH in Santa Barbara's a little boring.

And I can't believe it's taken so long to reply to your question. I've never read Treasure Island. (Or Moby Dick. We saw the whaling program on PBS last night.) It's strange to know I didn't read it (but plan to, thanks to you.) I'd have said I read EVERYthing - only now? I can hardly remember what that reading list included. Hmm.