Tail o' the Paint Job

I like tackiness. Buildings shaped like things, 1950s coffee shops with wacky angles, signage that violates city ordinances, people who fill their front yards with krazy krap and the like. But sometimes you have to draw the line.
Take a stand for what's really important.
My complaint?

What kind of twisted fiend paints his house these colors!?



Is there no decency left in this world? Does he realize this resides on a busy corner where men, woman and innocent children will see this clashtastrophy? I was ready to scoop my eyes with a mellon baller.
Where are the local authorities with the brown paint to sheild our eyes from such horrors?
How were these colors picked? Darts? Did someone really go to Home Depot and say "Hmmm.... Hefty Bag Green? Electric Mustard Yellow? Sweet."
Maybe this has something to do with Halloween. He probably wants to scare off the trick-or-treaters.

p.s. If you're considering hiring me and happen to live here (just my luck), may I say what a lovely house you have, a color scheme evoking the fresh contrast of fruit and leaf of the lemon tree. Just kidding about the mellon baller.