Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Interview with my Subconscious Mind.


ME: So, tell me about yourself.  What makes you tick?

SUBCONSCIOUS: Want Hostess Ding Dong!

ME:  Sorry, but you're not getting one-

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Ding Dong gots chocolate and white filling.  Yum!  Ding Dongs!

ME: Yes, but this isn't about Ding Dongs.  It's about you.  Tell me about-

SUBCONSCIOUS: WANT DING DONG!!!

ME: You can keep saying that, but you're not getting a Ding Dong.  Got it?

(someone walks by)

SUBCONSCIOUS:  That ugly person!

ME: That's not very nice...!  Shame on you!

SUBCONSCIOUS: No like  ugly person!

ME: You haven't even met them.  Why are you so judgement-

(car backfires nearby)

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Danger!  Danger!  Danger!  Danger!

ME: Calm down!

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Danger! Must fight!  Must run away!

ME: It's someone's car, you dolt!  It's harmless.

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Maybe not danger?

ME: Of course not!

SUBCONSCIOUS: Safe?

ME: Yes, you're safe.

SUBCONSCIOUS:  Me safe now.  Want Ding Dong.

4 comments:

Pile Girl said...

That's hysterical! It makes me think about what mine would want to so. Probably watch TV all day and eat Little Debbie nutty bars!

Namowal (Jennifer Bourne) said...

Thanks, Pile Girl.
This pretty much started when I walked past the Hostess isle and had the usual mental fight "Oh boy! Want Ding Dongs" vs. "No! No Ding Dongs for you!"
It's been years since I've had a Hostess snack of any kind, but that doesn't stop my animal brain from getting excited at the possibility of Zingers, Twinkies, Ho-hos and Fruit Pies.

Anonymous said...

Huh...what if the Crack Master got into this?

TOM said...

My subconscious mind just wants to be a player, but I haven't been an active one that often since the late 1990s. But now it's getting watery at the mention of Ho-hos. DAMN YOU NAMOWAL!