Friday, February 04, 2011

Guest Blogger: "I Don't Care if You're White, Black, Green or Purple... ...But if You're Magenta, Get the Hell Away From Me"

by Jack Tupp, Guest Blogger
 I'm a fair guy.  I don't judge people by color.  My best friend is Phthalo Green.  I dated a Cerulean Blue chick once.  Heck, I'm part Vermilion on my grandfather's side and people always ask me if I'm part Mauve, so don't go calling me a bigot.
Magentas  don't know their place.  They're dumb as corks, but we're supposed to act like they're all smart.  They have no class.   And we're supposed to pretend like they're all the Queen of England!.    Ever been around a bunch of them? You can just tell they're up to no good.
People call me names like "paranoid" and "dumb," but the truth is, I tell it like it is.   I'm not gonna pretend they're normal..  I mean, look at them.  Listen to their stupid "music" or take a whiff of that crap they call food. 
Then people say stuff like "Well, the Brain Surgeon at Station Hospital is Magenta and he's world famous."
But I know better.  Everyone's all political correct so they'll pretend a Magenta Brain surgeon is okay .    So now we have a Magenta guy carving up brains!    Is that crazy or what?
Wha.. what's that?  You're part Magenta?   No you're not...  ...really,,,?   
...Heh, of course I  didn't mean all Magentas.  Just, you know, the annoying ones.  The loud ones.  The ones with bad attitudes,
Hey!  Don't up and leave.  Geez.  That's the problem with you Magentas.  You're too sensitive!


Mike Healy said...

I like how "magenta" is cut off on the top of the sign, at the wrong place. Instead of that hyphen, he could have fit the whole word!

Namowal said...

Thanks for noticing, Mike.
I tried to cram as many bloopers into his sign as possible.
Anything to make it (hopefully) clear that I'm not endorsing this guy's behavior.

Linda said...

Some of my best friends are Magentas.

Pile Girl said...

I like when you said they are dumb as corks. That line cracked me up.

Namowal said...

Heh heh. I'm surprised Jack didn't use that line too. I'm slipping.

Pile Girl,
Thanks. The original draft was "dumb as bricks." That became "dumb as plugs," which was more original but more ambiguous. Finally it evolved to "dumb as corks."

GhostBuild said...

Hi Namowal, I hope that you didn't get on the receiving end of this kind of hate recently.

I worked for a boss once who was bigoted towards anyone who wasn't in athletic shape. Some of us thought he was racist, too... but his prejudice manifested itself so subtly... he was too intelligent to let anything obvious show, but still had a terrible, terrible attitude.

Wait, subtle? What am I saying? He walked around with a baseball bat. *facepalm*

Namowal said...

Hi Ghostbuild,
Your boss was bigoted towards anyone who wasn't in athletic shape? Was he a failed athlete (or coach) or something? And what was with the bat?

GhostBuild said...

I think his problem was a serious case of Alpha Male mentality... some kind of superiority complex.

The baseball bat? A vague threat... likely because he watched The Untouchables one too many times and he thinks he's Robert De Nero.