ME: So, tell me about yourself. What makes you tick?
SUBCONSCIOUS: Want Hostess Ding Dong!
ME: Sorry, but you're not getting one-
SUBCONSCIOUS: Ding Dong gots chocolate and white filling. Yum! Ding Dongs!
ME: Yes, but this isn't about Ding Dongs. It's about you. Tell me about-
SUBCONSCIOUS: WANT DING DONG!!!
ME: You can keep saying that, but you're not getting a Ding Dong. Got it?
(someone walks by)
SUBCONSCIOUS: That ugly person!
ME: That's not very nice...! Shame on you!
SUBCONSCIOUS: No like ugly person!
ME: You haven't even met them. Why are you so judgement-
(car backfires nearby)
SUBCONSCIOUS: Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger!
ME: Calm down!
SUBCONSCIOUS: Danger! Must fight! Must run away!
ME: It's someone's car, you dolt! It's harmless.
SUBCONSCIOUS: Maybe not danger?
ME: Of course not!
SUBCONSCIOUS: Safe?
ME: Yes, you're safe.
SUBCONSCIOUS: Me safe now. Want Ding Dong.
4 comments:
That's hysterical! It makes me think about what mine would want to so. Probably watch TV all day and eat Little Debbie nutty bars!
Thanks, Pile Girl.
This pretty much started when I walked past the Hostess isle and had the usual mental fight "Oh boy! Want Ding Dongs" vs. "No! No Ding Dongs for you!"
It's been years since I've had a Hostess snack of any kind, but that doesn't stop my animal brain from getting excited at the possibility of Zingers, Twinkies, Ho-hos and Fruit Pies.
Huh...what if the Crack Master got into this?
My subconscious mind just wants to be a player, but I haven't been an active one that often since the late 1990s. But now it's getting watery at the mention of Ho-hos. DAMN YOU NAMOWAL!
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