Ever wake up with your pajamas missing?
At first I thought they were on the floor. It was warm last night. I'd probably taken them off in my sleep. Except they weren't on the floor or anywhere in the guest bedroom at my parent's house. After a ten minute search I gave up. I grabbed my shirt and jeans to hide my top and dashed to the bathroom.
My pajamas were on the bathroom counter. Huh?
I wasn't exactly partying last night. I went to bed early. What was going on?
Then the obvious hit me. I have sleep disorders. Usually this means nightmares, waking dreams and thrashing around. Sometimes I'll go for a walk. I don't remember doing so, but the next morning I'll wake up to find a light on or crumbs in the kitchen. Once I woke up with orange fingers- apparently I'd broken into the Kim Chee and didn't bother with a fork*. What class.**
I'm not sure what I was up to last night, but evidence suggests it involved walking around my parents house in my friggin' underwear! Again, such class! Thank goodness I wasn't caught. I guess I'll need to tether myself to the bed post.
* No, I don't take Ambian
**It could be worse- I hear some people do wackier things in their sleep, like eating garbage or going for a drive. I await the day I wake up topless at the wheel with a half can of dog food, trying to explain myself to the police officer.