Frustrating Toy Hall of Fame, Part I

When you were a kid, was there ever a toy that seemed like the coolest thing ever in the commercial, yet turned out to be a dud when you actually got one?  Here's some I remember...

1.  The Yo-yo.

The commercial always had kids doing something like this:

 

"Anyone can play!" the commercial promised,  "Rock the baby!  Walk the Dog!  Even Loop the Loop!"

I couldn't wait to get a yo-yo and do some tricks.

Then I got one.

 It did this:

I believe that trick is called "Drop and Stay There."  

With some practice I mastered other tricks, including "Tangle the String," "Get Thrown Outside for Swinging That Around Indoors," "Get the String Grubby Looking," and best of all, "Loop-the-Thwack!"

2. Rubik's Cube

This one was sneaky.  It was fun to play with.  Then I discovered something awful:

I couldn't  solve it.

I could solve one or two sides, but that was about it.    And everyone seemed to know a kid or two who could solve the freaking thing.   The rest of us "solved" it by taking at apart and putting it together.

3. Slinky

In commercials it walked downhill or (down the steps) like it was alive!

In real life it either just sat there, or, if given a push, plunked down a step and, well,  sat there.

Of course, you could always do this!

Wheee!  We're talking  minutes of fun here! 
This (PG-13) cartoon sums up the slinky experience nicely
4.  Super Elastic Bubble Plastic

I've blogged about this before.  It was a tube of glop.  In the commercial, kids put a dollop of glop on a straw and inflate  it into jumbo bubbles.   According to the commercial, these bubbles "last and last!"

Every time I tried it, I ended up with sorry, lopsided blobs that lasted (and lasted) for a three minutes before they broke.

5. Mousetrap

The commercial showed a cartoony Rube Goldberg device.  Crazy music played.   A kid turned the crank, which triggered a kicking boot, that released a ball that sprung a lever and so on.  The end result  was a cage dropping on a  plastic mouse as  delighted kids yelled "Mouse Trap!"
The real life game had two problems:

1.  It was dificult to assemble.
2.  When assembled, it didn't really work.

I imagine this conversation occurred at the toy factory before the game hit the stores.

Toy Designer A:  We gotta scrap that Rube Goldberg mouse catcher toy.  It's just too hard to put together.

Toy Designer B: Hmmm....  ...how about we make assembling the toy part of a game?   Make it a challenge.   Like hitting a bull's eye in darts or bowling a strike.

Toy Designer A:  Yeah, that's good, but even when the thing's built it doesn't work that often.  Who wants to build something that doesn't work?

Toy Designer B:  Good point...  ...wait!  I got it.    The fact that it only works sometimes is part of the game too.  Like a roll of the dice.   We'll make it a board game...!

The rest is history.