The Stir Fried Cricket Switcharoo

There's three kinds of people who eat bugs.

1. People who actually like them.
2. Snobs who want to look open minded and sophisticated.
3. Curious screwballs (like myself ) who want to see what the big deal is.

Some friends roped me into to lunch at Wazooo, a trendy eatery that serves beef, chicken, pork, fish, tofu... ...and bugs. I'd never been there before.
"If I order the stir fried crickets," said Joe, "will anyone try 'em?"
"Sure," I said. "I'll taste a cricket."
How bad could it be? I thought. Was a bug that different than a shrimp or a crayfish? And even if it tastes bad, I'll have a funny story to tell.
Joe ordered. The waiter talked him out of the crickets and into Fried Sea Worms.
This was too far down the food chain.
My old job at the tropical fish shop had introduced me to many kinds of worms. These weren't things you wanted anywhere near your mouth.

"Whoa wait," I said. "I said I'd taste a cricket. I never said anything about worms!"
"Aw," said Joe. "You said!"
"I said I'd try bugs. Not worms."
"But they're on the insect menu! The waiter says they're real good."
"Okay," I grumbled.
The worms arrived wrapped in lettuce leaves. They looked like canned fried onions. At least they're tiny I thought, extracting one.
"Hey you can't eat 'em like that, Everyone gets their own wrap!" Somebody plopped one on my plate.
I looked closely. They weren't worms! They were thin, tiny fish. Tropical fish stores sell frozen and freeze dried ones as pet food. (They also sell crickets. Does the chef swings by Petco each morning for "groceries?" A bait shop?)
I bit into my wrap. The "worms" had a fried onion texture. A salty fishy taste. Not horrible, not delicious. Memories of the fish shop ruined them: You feed this to fish! You feed this to fish!