Being way too naive even at this stage of life, I rarely think people are lying. When I do encounter a big liar it amazes me-- how do they keep it up? When situation requires a social lie, I'm a wreck. I have to write it down on paper and practice, and I always pile on the excuses until it sounds totally implausible.
(not that I don't exaggerate-- but that's a separate territory.)
on separate note, I was thinking about the great variety of artistic styles on your blog during the last year or so-- really wonderful. From the black and whites of the Martians to these nifty original impastos.
Sally, I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but once in awhile I meet someone who sends the whoppers flying. I'm not sure how they keep it up. Maybe it's easier when you're not afraid of getting caught. I have trouble with the social lies (as in) "Sorry I can't help you clean out your attic because I'm.. ah.. doing... something, you know... all weekend..." too. Thanks for noticing me mixing up the art styles. I have a lot of fun fooling around with them.
Sometimes, I accidentally lie. Like there's my mouth, talking away, and shit comes out of it. It's extraordinary. My brain blinks and, like Sally, I go into crazy overcompensation mode and neon lights go flashing and every fibre of me wants to say: I don't know what the hell just happened!!! Liar liar telephone wire.
So. When someone ELSE lies before your/my very eyes? I don't get it. I don't get how their brains don't want to explode like mine does. Part of me is convinced that they go home and really struggle with it.
I haven't seen real evidence of that, though. :( and :) because at least it's entertaining.
I occasionally get a sense that someone is not being genuine, and I get confused or doubt my intuition. I think: could they really be so shallow? I find it hard to believe.
Hi Boodababy and stray g, I people who lie left and right are rare, which is why it's so jolting when someone you meet (or worse, someone you know) repeatedly says things that can't possibly be true. In general, though, I think it's safe to assume most people are being straight with us.
Funny how I was thinking the subject of lying a few weeks ago. I realized that as I got older I didn’t lie as readily as when I was a child. I was hoping that it’s because I was more accepting of myself and not relying as much on other’s acceptance. It may also because I’m getting old -- too tired and too lazy to cover up for my mistakes, too tired and too cranky to impress others. I do know someone who lies consistently. I enjoy her like a book (fiction), marvel at her tireless fibbing, and perhaps a bit flattered (she wants me to think highly of her? My opinion matters? Wow).
Hi Luci, You friend sounds entertaining. I never thought about it before, but you're right, it is flattering when you think someone's going through all that trouble to impress you.
What do you do--how do you react--when you realize someone is lying to you? I want to move away from them--it feels like they have a germ. It's insulting--it feels like they don't value my time or whatever intelligence I have.
Linda, If it's someone I've just met (and it's very clear they're lying,) I'll shy away from them. If it's someone I know (so far, only a few people,) I'll usually let it slide. There's no polite way to say "gee, that's not possible." If it's a one time thing, I'll assume it was a misunderstanding. It's a weird vibe when it's chronic. There's the what's this yo-yo gonna come up with next!? factor, the Wow, they think I'm worth impressing factor (as Luci pointed out), and the do you really think I'm stupid enough to believe that factor . Insulting yet entertaining. And unsettling.
There's another situation I've encountered where someone will tell me something I told them already, only they think they thought of it and tare telling me for the first time as if I don't already know. It's weird! (I think their brain just processes info in a strange way.) Then someone told me that's how I know I'm the voice of authority, because people quote me as if they heard it on NPR.
By the way, there's a line about Jim Morrison that still makes me laugh in the movie "Two Days in Paris."
I never saw that movie, stray "voice of authority" g. What was the Jim Morrison line? I remember a cartoon I saw years ago that ostensibly showed the "truth" behind his bathtub death: he slipped on his rubber ducky...
My Dad once told me of some weird guy who came up to him and said something like, "Hey, man, I'm Jimmy Page's cousin!". I don't think he asked for a smoke or anything else like that, as he walked off right after that. I don't think he was British, either, so there goes any credibility right there!
14 comments:
That happens sometimes when I'm talking to myself.
Being way too naive even at this stage of life, I rarely think people are lying. When I do encounter a big liar it amazes me-- how do they keep it up? When situation requires a social lie, I'm a wreck. I have to write it down on paper and practice, and I always pile on the excuses until it sounds totally implausible.
(not that I don't exaggerate-- but that's a separate territory.)
on separate note, I was thinking about the great variety of artistic styles on your blog during the last year or so-- really wonderful. From the black and whites of the Martians to these nifty original impastos.
Ha ha, Anon :)
Sally,
I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but once in awhile I meet someone who sends the whoppers flying. I'm not sure how they keep it up. Maybe it's easier when you're not afraid of getting caught.
I have trouble with the social lies (as in) "Sorry I can't help you clean out your attic because I'm.. ah.. doing... something, you know... all weekend..." too.
Thanks for noticing me mixing up the art styles. I have a lot of fun fooling around with them.
Ha. Anonymous made me laugh.
Sometimes, I accidentally lie. Like there's my mouth, talking away, and shit comes out of it. It's extraordinary. My brain blinks and, like Sally, I go into crazy overcompensation mode and neon lights go flashing and every fibre of me wants to say: I don't know what the hell just happened!!! Liar liar telephone wire.
So. When someone ELSE lies before your/my very eyes? I don't get it. I don't get how their brains don't want to explode like mine does. Part of me is convinced that they go home and really struggle with it.
I haven't seen real evidence of that, though. :( and :) because at least it's entertaining.
I occasionally get a sense that someone is not being genuine, and I get confused or doubt my intuition. I think: could they really be so shallow? I find it hard to believe.
Hi Boodababy and stray g,
I people who lie left and right are rare, which is why it's so jolting when someone you meet (or worse, someone you know) repeatedly says things that can't possibly be true. In general, though, I think it's safe to assume most people are being straight with us.
Funny how I was thinking the subject of lying a few weeks ago. I realized that as I got older I didn’t lie as readily as when I was a child. I was hoping that it’s because I was more accepting of myself and not relying as much on other’s acceptance. It may also because I’m getting old -- too tired and too lazy to cover up for my mistakes, too tired and too cranky to impress others. I do know someone who lies consistently. I enjoy her like a book (fiction), marvel at her tireless fibbing, and perhaps a bit flattered (she wants me to think highly of her? My opinion matters? Wow).
Hi Luci,
You friend sounds entertaining. I never thought about it before, but you're right, it is flattering when you think someone's going through all that trouble to impress you.
What do you do--how do you react--when you realize someone is lying to you? I want to move away from them--it feels like they have a germ. It's insulting--it feels like they don't value my time or whatever intelligence I have.
Linda,
If it's someone I've just met (and it's very clear they're lying,) I'll shy away from them. If it's someone I know (so far, only a few people,) I'll usually let it slide. There's no polite way to say "gee, that's not possible." If it's a one time thing, I'll assume it was a misunderstanding.
It's a weird vibe when it's chronic. There's the what's this yo-yo gonna come up with next!? factor, the Wow, they think I'm worth impressing factor (as Luci pointed out), and the do you really think I'm stupid enough to believe that factor . Insulting yet entertaining. And unsettling.
There's another situation I've encountered where someone will tell me something I told them already, only they think they thought of it and tare telling me for the first time as if I don't already know. It's weird! (I think their brain just processes info in a strange way.) Then someone told me that's how I know I'm the voice of authority, because people quote me as if they heard it on NPR.
By the way, there's a line about Jim Morrison that still makes me laugh in the movie "Two Days in Paris."
I never saw that movie, stray "voice of authority" g. What was the Jim Morrison line?
I remember a cartoon I saw years ago that ostensibly showed the "truth" behind his bathtub death: he slipped on his rubber ducky...
My Dad once told me of some weird guy who came up to him and said something like, "Hey, man, I'm Jimmy Page's cousin!". I don't think he asked for a smoke or anything else like that, as he walked off right after that. I don't think he was British, either, so there goes any credibility right there!
Mike Healy,
I think if I had a famous cousin, it wouldn't be something I'd be throwing the info at strangers. I don't blame you for being skeptical!
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